There are no seeds in this puckleberry no worms in this ant hole. Have you ever heard their anthem? Over and over from hog to tide: “remember what you are doing here, you’re keeping yourself alive.” Birds can hear the wind over the mountaintops and a few of your thoughts got left on my pillowcase last night. If you stand on that mat long enough you’ll shrink into what will appear to be nothingness. There’s a whole microscopic colony down there. At least, I think they’re still there.
She stood up with a look of kamikaze crazy in her eyeballs and bellowed to her generation SLATHER ME IN YOUR SUBCUTANEOUS BELLY FAT. There is a place for me in this world I have no doubt but that place is not now. Send me back through the cladograms of your lignin textbooks, put me to rest in the Age of Fishes. Wherever I land I will breathe in, breathe in the oxygen and grow so big so terribly terribly big my hominid heart will not support my gigantism. And then one day, maybe tomorrow, you will find my fossils deep within the bedrock.
My coffee cup has been colonized by ants. The whole inside is a black swarming mass. They coat the walls and when I tip the cup they pour into my mouth. When I put the cup back down, those still inside form a solid shadow, undulating at the top. I am swallowing as I ponder this and they are forced to tumble down my esophagus. A few get left behind in my mouth. In jousting them around with my tongue, one sticks to the tip and as I lick my lip he grabs onto my face, up over and into my left nostril. I sneeze but he is a swift and talented climber.
As he explores my cranium, his fellow Formicidae are not making out so well. They are in my stomach now, churning with my blueberry bagel and stomach acids.
A survivor bites the lining of my stomach. A single tear squeezes out of my eye and inside of it is Swift and Talented Climber. He rolls down my cheek and I position the coffee cup so it will catch him when he lands. He falls into the cup of ants, and they erupt into cheer without abandon.
For class tomorrow, we had to write in the style of someone unlike ourselves. I didn’t use anyone specific, just sort of an anti-Jana persona. I kind of can’t stand it. Here it is:
It’s a jungle out there. Sometimes the sun breaks through the canopy and reflects golden-green off of leaves and bird beaks and ants making their way along twigs. They keep time with their little legs. But the rest of the time, it’s a jungle out there and the jungle is a torrid bitch slip slop sucking you dry of all you’ve got until you’re so twisted and turned that you turn straight to the fucking wolves. Beg them to eat you alive with your puny voice that never sounded good on an answering machine, anyway. You stretch out your hands. What were you going to do with those fingers, anyway? Write love letters to the dead that deserted you so long so long so long ago you can’t even remember what their voice sounded like on an answering machine? Or maybe you were going to tap tap tap a few keys on the keyboard of your laptop that, for years, stood in for the Friday night dates you never had. After your hands come your arms, the very same arms that used to wrap around your lover after he informed you that, yes, you would be spending the entire day at Dolphin World. Did you leave him a voicemail, or will he assume you finally ran away from the shitty family you never defended? Send the wolves to them next, amIright? In my experience, next goes your torso. Your lean, smooth torso with just enough belly button hair to be filed under “gruesome.” Snap goes your spinal cord, steam go your innards. It’s all downhill from there.
There are pine needles and pine trees and good God can you taste that?
It’s like someone marinated the spit of the Devil in a lamb stew
My mother made a lamb stew once. It tasted like
I’m sorry. That was the start of a lie. My mother has never made lamb.
My Father, on the other hand
No, no, my father has never made lamb. Or rather, not that I have tasted.
But I imagine, if he did, it would taste like sun and wind and a bicycle and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches made by strangers.
I have nothing else to say.
That was a real lie.
I have so much to say
The bunny hopped over the river and landed in a bush of azaleas but wait each individual azalea was in reality a portal but unfortunately for bunny he landed across two different azaleas and from his head to his stomach was ripped into an azalea tunnel towards Flahrs The Land Of Marzipan while from his kidneys to his tail whirled and sped into the azalea of oblivion, aka Old Spice Commercials On Repeat where it turned out Old Spice Guy was in dire need of a large colon and so bunny was not torn apart in vain but will forever live on in both your marzipan and your deodorant.